Putting the F-U-N in dysfunctional

By today's standards I apparently grew up in a dysfunctional home.

I am one of seven children.  My father worked and my mothers stayed home with us (well, actually I wouldn't picture her sitting at home filing her nails if I were you). My mother ran us to school, extracurriculars, friends houses, doctor's appointments, brought in our school projects that we forgot at home, came and picked us up when we were struck ill during the school day (or forgot to study for the text the next period - little did she know!)

My father worked all the hours he could get, on an hourly income in an industry that was increasingly becoming unstable, and he watched his wages become stagnant in growth.  Overtime whenever he could, but never missed something that any of us kids deemed important enough to want our parents there.  With seven kids - can you even imagine balancing that?

Vacations - not for my parents. Date night - not for my parents.  They sacrificed without a single moment of complaint or regret to raise us seven children to the best of their ability.

It's funny that according to today's culture in America - our lack of Abercrombie (well Guess and B.U.M. at the time) clothing, our lack of spring break and summer family vacations, our lack of a car when we turned 16 ... apparently made us dysfunctional.

However, my parents never accepted government - other honest working taxpayers - money! We never went on welfare. It wasn't right - we could make do with a little sacrifice and with a lot of accountability and acceptance of the responsibilities that came with the decisions my parents made. Period.  Accountability. Self Responsibility. Sacrifice.

And another thing about the dysfunctional part.  We never "got everything we wanted" ... material-wise that is. WE were always unconditionally loved and that was what got us through.

The funny thing is today as adults how we all are pretty accepting of our faults, and very self-reliant.

I have recently had the not-so-pleasurable experience of seeing a family of siblings in action.  A group of siblings that have received everything they wanted and were never told no.  Well, OK they didn't drive muscle cars to high school - but if they needed $100 or say $1000 for whatever, they found it - whether through their parents or their grandparents.

I can't even for one minute imagine asking my parents or my grandparents for money. When we were growing up we were taught the way to find extra money was through extra work hours or an extra job - or by giving up something extra. There was no other way to find extra money or extra goods or "wants" than to go work for it ourselves.

So - now as adults - when my father says "we put the FUN into dysfunctional ... he's right on. Because by teaching us all (by example) to be self reliant and accountable, we've been lucky enough not to experience jealousy of others.

It is super FUN to be able to know that when others attack you for the things you've done for yourself and assume you are spoiled and that your parents gave such things to you, that they are foolish and lack the blessing that you have been given.  That blessing being - God's gift of ability to take care of oneself.

To give this up would be tragic.

It is FUN to watch someone attack because they think you are spoiled by another, whether it be parents or partner.  It is FUN to know that because they have been spoiled that they can't even see through their own "want of what others have" to see that you actually built it yourself.

God bless my parents for their sacrifices to raise us children. God bless my aunts and uncles who let my parents be the parents and didn't attempt to spoil us into rottenness on the side. God bless my brothers and sisters for working hard and not asking for or taking hand outs.

Oh - and one more point. The man I am about to marry is a very self-made, over come A LOT, to be a strong willed and accountable man.  God bless him for not allowing himself to accept the ways of those around him and demanding more for himself.  You cannot become successful in what you do or in life without putting in the hard work and dedication of time.  Nothing stands tall without a foundation.

I find it laughable to see the people I care about, who work very hard for the successes they've been blessed with, be attacked by those who've accepted handouts.

Thank you for the F-U-N ... I wouldn't trade it for anything.